My childhood was full of brokenness, chaos, and survival. Those patterns show up again and again in my adult life.

I carried all that pain. But I won’t pass it on.

The cycle ends with me.

It is intriguing to test the mind to what most think is its maximum but I say to you, that no one knows that because each time you think you do, it opens another barrier to break through.

Coming close to what you see as total failure is eye-opening. Someone else might perceive it differently, but you need to protect that perception. I got humbled—almost destroyed. And no one knew.

“I still hear his mother screaming, ‘My Upu! My Upu!’ And I don’t think that sound will ever leave me.”

As I said goodbye to my father, he hugged me tight and kissed me on the cheek—the only time I can ever remember him doing so. Even though I always knew he loved me, that moment was powerful.

I have no idea whether any of my biological offspring will ever reach out to me, or even know I exist, but I would certainly welcome it.

They say life moves in cycles. For me, the first one broke in a school playground.